I suggested we better our eating habits by purchasing the same general snack items (oven pizzas and stuff like that), but switch to products which contain better ingredients and less added crap (nitrates, nitrites, artificial coloring, high fructose corn syrup, etc). She got legitimately upset with me because I was taking away “our thing” and “tradition.” After more debate she guilted me with the whole, “You’re leaving me for college soon and now you’re taking away the food I love” spiel. I tried to explain I wasn’t trying to take away certain foods, I was trying to replace them with just as delicious things, but make our diet healthier in the process.
Then she revealed the real reason why she was so upset was that she thought she was feeding my brother and me healthily and raised us right and now I’m telling her it’s not true which making her a failure as a mother on top of being a failure in her singing career (in her eyes a failure at everything). I expressed how untrue this was, how her home cooked meals are fairly good nutrition, and I’m just trying to improve our diet through the store bought products we purchase. I used a well-oiled machine as a cliché metaphor: the way she fed us is a well-oiled machine which functions efficiently; I’m just trying to replace some gears to slightly increase productivity. Then I remembered my mom doesn’t get metaphors. So she cried a lot. I tried to make her feel better. It didn’t work.
I love my mom. I really do. But I just don’t understand where her mind goes. I mean I see the thought process, but it amazes me how negatively she reads into every little thing.